Monday, February 07, 2011

Again and again, mere notes

For how many times we repeat to ourselves the same promises we'd made at the beginning... We promised to never give up no matter how hard the trials would be and how powerless and useless we would happen to feel. I was told never to say to myself :"I can't" but I can do all things in Christ who strengthens me...
And I kept on saying "I can't" more times a day even because that was the way I felt... and my spiritual father has been telling me for over 8 years that I can and I could... I wouldn't have been here otherwise.

Am waiting to have my head scanned in one week, have been having those kind of migrenes that scratch off your brain and all you want to do is press your head against your pillow and forget about the things around.

Have been through loads lately and I wonder how it would be "after" as I am now at the stage of "before".


Waiting for my husband to get home from work, fed the sheep, fed the fires... and my head starts aching again. The kids stopped screaming, they just whisper in the parents' room (the way they themselves call it) and draw... It took me a whole day to get them to this point of quiet...
Bread baked, home in disorder, thoughts invading my mind and beyond...

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